How should you deal with Bullies ?

It could be someone you know or someone you barely know. Bullying is the act of directing aggressive, intimidating, or threatening behaviors that are directed at an individual with the intent to cause physical or emotional harm.

Bullying can take on a variety of forms and can be in-person or through the use of electronics and technology, called cyberbullying. While this list isn’t exhaustive, you may be a victim of bullying and/or cyberbullying if someone:

• Subjects you to verbal taunts aimed to embarrass or humiliate you
• Manipulates you into giving up possessions or money for fear of harm or embarrassment
• Pushes, shoves, kicks, or otherwise physically harms you
• Sends and/or forwards to others any insulting emails, texts, videos, photos, or social media posts that are derogatory or untrue
• Impersonates you on social media to embarrass you or share your private information
• Uses electronic messages (texts, Facebook posts, etc.) with angry or threatening language

What can you do?

Bullies are weak people. They derive pleasure by pulling other people down since they are insecure about themselves.

Other things you can do 

1. Get Emotional Support - Consider reaching out to your counselor, school administrator, human resource manager, victim services specialist, or advocate to get information on help that may be available to you and safety planning ideas.

2. Document Every Incident – Make a log of encounters with the bully. Record in-person encounters, texts or social media messages, online postings, etc.

3. Obtain a Protective Order – Consider filing for a protective order. Protective orders are issued differently by each state, so be sure to contact your local courts to determine what you’ll need to file the order. Ask about the type of order you can file based on the evidence and your particular situation. Bullying should be treated as a criminal act and is reportable to law enforcement.

4. Create a Safety Plan – Develop a safety plan for all situations in which you may encounter the bully. You can enlist the help of a trusted friend or family member to plan for what you will do if the bully contacts or confronts you.

Remember the actions of other people to bring you down are testimonials of their own state of mind. They are not a reflection to the person you are.

Whatever you do, be the positive person who lights up everyone's life. Life is your reaction to what happens to you. 

You can never control what happens but you can always control and determine how you react to what happens. 

A simple guide to the world of male supremacy

I am assuming you have no mustache to wear and anatomically you are a far cry from what the leadership around you expects you to look like.

You own more monotone suits than the person down the hallway with the corner office and you are hoping that no one notices you exist while you make through the day.

God forbid you have brains. And if you have them, please relegate them to a corner of your body that's not visible.

Let's face it.

You are threatening to men even when you are not competing with them. To the most open-minded liberal men who swear to think of women as their equals, you are still not an equal.

You are still a woman. Something they used to own. And now you have a voice. How dare you?

If you are doing things that are not expected of women; you are getting in the way of your own self. Yes, they will pull you down and they will do it slowly but surely. Unless you have a very thick skin, which unfortunately cannot be purchased even on Amazon; do not try to hurt the male ego.

1. When a man talks, please let him. Be happy to only repeat his words. Do not add or take away words from his diatribe. He is the God of opinion and words.

2. When you have to disagree with their point of view; please do not. Have another man do it.

3. Before you say anything; keep asserting that you are just a woman with no skills. That makes them feel good. And Safe

4. It's better not to say anything when a man is explaining something to you. Please let him explain even if you know better. It makes them feel useful.

5. If you hear or are subject to something sexist; please do not point it out. It will allow them to attack you for existing in their space, blame you for your food, beverage habits or your clothes and your intent in being around you. You should just try your best to run away from the situation and never speak about it. They expect that. It hurts the big male ego that you found their sexism sexist. In fact, you should be grateful they have predefined tools to measure their egos with. If you know what I mean.

6. The more confused you come across as; the more powerful the man in the room feels. Please live up to the stereotype - appear and behave stupid and confused. Never come across as clear or direct. This will help the men feel powerful and in charge.

7. Don't come across as confident. Always use words like "stupid", " random" " not sure" " crazy" when giving your opinion so that the men never feel threatened by your confidence.

8. Never ever blame men for touching or feeling you. I would suggest stepping out in space suits if you are uncomfortable with the most common privilege that men assert.

9. Celebrate the bosses and co-workers who steal your ideas and take credit for work you have done. In fact, take pride and joy in the way they grow in stature and remuneration. After all, they deserve it. You on the other hand; are better at other things. I mean even if you are a brain surgeon, you are still a woman brain surgeon. Or a woman prosecutor.

10. When you stand up for your rights. ( Right); your actions are seen as hyper and emotional. So just don't protest. When a man is effectively screaming his guts out; it is a conversation. When a woman is talking; it is called emotional outburst. Your rights are a gift. Men's rights are their privilege,

There are more tactics that I have used to survive in business. I have spent years of my career careful about upsetting the male supremacy equilibrium. And facing it head-on, nevertheless.

Whenever I have raised my voice to sexism, bad behavior or discrimination; there has been a narrative that has tried to dilute mine. Will I stop raising my voice? No way in hell. The more you muffle me; the more of me you will see. And hear.